Christmas Cookie Challenge – Airing of Grievances

Festivus for the rest of us! The Festivus story on Seinfeld was one of my family’s favorite episodes. Every time I get myself worked up about something – and there are a lot of those occasions – I state to those around me that it is time for my airing of grievances which usually results in a clearing of the room.

I’ve been binge re-watching episodes of Christmas Cookie Challenge and as I view them I feel a kinship with Frank Constanza (Jerry Stiller) because I have a lot of problems with those people.

First of all most of the challenges are given a time limit of 90 minutes or 120 minutes to complete. What makes me absolutely stark-raving mad is when the host announces – bakers we are halfway through meaning 45 minutes or more have elapsed. Almost every single time there is a baker(s) who still have their dough in the mixing bowl. I want to know what in the heck they were doing for 45 minutes? (On social media someone pointed out that it is a new kitchen and they don’t know where everything is, etc. I still say in 45 to 60 minutes, in that organized kitchen where everything is labeled, one should be able to have their dough mixed.)

Secondly, some of these cookiers (that is what they call themselves) have immense talent and some of them well let’s just say they either do not possess said talent or the pressure causes them to cave. Honestly, the cookies these “cavers” present are not as bad as the cookies below – but some of them are cringeworthy. It makes me think that the Food Network brought them in just to make drama.

On nearly every episode someone uses fondant on their cookies and it makes me question if these bakers have ever seen an episode of this show? Hello? Everyone hates fondant. Fondant is what bad kids get in their stocking at Christmas time instead of candy. (On social media, someone pointed out that some bakers resort to fondant because of time constraints. On the shows that I have watched, the bakers put the cookies in the oven and start right on fondant rolling stating that they always make their cookies look perfect with fondant.) Another thing I noticed in a show last night is the use of isomalt. Yes, it makes things look pretty and this grievance is directed to the judges who complain that isomalt is hard to eat — eat around the isomalt. One judge said, “isomalt is very difficult to eat, took a piece with isomalt clearly in it – and then stated he nearly broke his teeth – duh!)

Then we have the bakers who make an Italian rainbow cookie or a coconut macaroon in a holiday cookie decorating contest. Again, I say, hello? (Now I have Adele singing in my head.) It also seems the bakers who talk the most smack to the other bakers are the ones who have the most trouble with their cookies.

Now, let’s talk judges. This show has made me fall in love with Ree Drummond. She is always so kind to the bakers and tries to find the good in all cookies. There have been some judges such as previous winners of baking championship shows or others who I will not name who are just mean girls (and boys). It’s a cookie contest, not cardiac surgery and some of these judges will find the most minute fault and just rip the baker apart. Some cookies will be absolutely flawless and a judge will say, “on this cookie Mrs. Claus has three eyelashes, yet on this cookie she has two eyelashes”.

I was watching an episode yesterday and a judge said to a baker who truly struggled “this is a decorating challenge and I see no evidence that you have any decorating skills”. Ree turned her head and said “ouch”. That judge will find fondant in her stocking for sure.

Some of the challenges are difficult (similar to those on GBBO) – build an entire city out of cookies in 3D and use three different cookies or build a train set out of cookies and fill up two of the cars with different cookie treats. Oh yeah, and do it in two hours. It amazes me what these bakers get done and then to be critiqued because they made train tracks with buttercream and it ruined the effect (the judges felt that tracks weren’t necessary).

I give anyone a ton of credit to put themselves through that pressure. I only watch the baking championship and the cookie challenge show on Food Network. I do enjoy them despite the grievances and my complaints about the contestants are more geared toward Food Network – because I believe they make sure there is some drama – i.e., dough not made in 45-60 minutes, fondant, isomalt, etc. The other shows give me agita than these.

Do you watch the competition shows and if you do what do you think about them?