What not to give for the holidays

December 2, 2022 by
 |  9 Comments  |  Leave Comment

I’m sure most of you have been seeing lots of advertisements and posts about gift ideas, and if your browsing habits influence the algorithm like mine do, most of what you see is food or cooking related. My biggest problem is that plenty of what I see in those articles appeals to me as a gift recipient, not necessarily as a gift giver. One headline, however, stopped me in my tracks, paraphrased as “Buy your parents better cooking tools so you can use them when you visit.”

I had to click through to the article to see if the headline was misleading. It wasn’t, and the point of the article annoyed me to no end. This sentence especially enraged me “…you shouldn’t let [your parents] potential lack of enthusiasm keep you from buying them gifts from the kitchen department this year, because there is one person that will always be grateful: you, the person who has to cook in their kitchen over the holidays.” I was gobsmacked at the selfishness of this thought.

Buying something the intended recipient does not want, does not need, and will not use, is not in the spirit of gift-giving. Color me old-fashioned, but I want my friends and family to be pleased with their present, and I put careful thought into what I purchase so it doesn’t immediately end up in the thrift store pile. In fact, I would rather not give anything than to give someone a “gift” they will not use.

I am not against the idea of buying tools to use in someone else’s kitchen if you cook in it frequently. Just don’t call it a gift for them, and of course be respectful of the item’s utility and the amount of room it will occupy. For instance, a Thermapen or a Microplane will not take up much space and might be well used, but a set of large mixing bowls consumes a lot of real estate. Perhaps I am overthinking this issue (I have a tendency to do that). However, I am resolute about the idea that gifts should have meaning for the recipient. What say you?

Remember you can send your loved ones a link to your wishlist here at Eat Your Books to guide them with holiday shopping.

Category: Antipasto

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9 Comments

  • Jenny  on  December 2, 2022

    Amen.

  • matag  on  December 2, 2022

    Wow! ?

  • Shelmar  on  December 2, 2022

    No one needs something that they don’t want and will not use, especially someone you care about that might feel guilty getting rid of it.

  • hillsboroks  on  December 2, 2022

    I just spent three weeks at my daughter’s and son-in-laws house to help them with a new set of baby twin girls. Their kitchen was missing a few really essential items like decent knives, vegetable peelers, Microplane graters and a reliable can opener. I just sent them some nice knives for Christmas and told them I was buying the other small utensils so it would be easier for me to cook when I came again. I leave Monday for another two weeks and will be doing a lot of the cooking along with extra baby care and am looking forward to the new utensils. I don’t think they minded my kitchen additions at all.

  • anya_sf  on  December 3, 2022

    Agreed – get them if needed, but don’t call them a gift. Just say they are to help you next time you cook in their kitchen.

  • AtOurTable  on  December 4, 2022

    Great point and I have to wonder about the intended audience for that article. I cook, and taught our children (now adults) to cook. And they cook well. I’ve received a Japanese chef’s knife for Christmas which I love. And a sous vide circulator which transformed my cooking and is used often. I don’t have room or need for things like air fryers and insta-pots though would give it a go before it ended up on the donate pile

  • LeilaD  on  December 4, 2022

    I am hoping with all of my might that it was a joke or satire.

  • Julietcooks  on  December 9, 2022

    Totally agree. It’s about them not you although you get the vicarious pleasure of giving.

  • bittrette  on  January 12, 2023

    AtOurTable, I too was wondering about the intended audience of that advice. Maybe they’re spoiled brats, those who were never taught not to be selfish.
    But the author, Jaya Saxena, says that that was how her mother gave gifts to her parents (Jaya’s grandparents). And Jaya seems never to have learned what’s wrong with that.
    Warning to parents: if you don’t teach your children the difference between selfishness and the true spirit of giving, you will receive your just comeuppance when your children give you “gifts” that they really intend for themselves.

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