Let’s call the whole thing off

Back in February (which personally seems like a decade ago), I shared my thoughts on the demands and judgment of the internet reader in Order up: one recipe, hold the narrative.

Recently, one of our most-loved cookbook authors, Dorie Greenspan wrote about Joanne Chang’s Maple Blueberry Scones for the New York Times. The comments on that article are enough to make one lose their faith in humanity (as if we need another reason).

First, we have this:

Anyone who knows Dorie or Joanne, knows that they do not have a snobby bone in their bodies. Secondly, if you are going to make scones and can’t use your own judgment as to how to get around the stand mixer instructions, move onto another recipe.

I make hundreds of baking recipes a year and while I have a stand mixer or two, oftentimes I just don’t want to deal with using it. I’ll use a hand mixer or a dough whisk and I have never had a fail – yet! Should you follow a recipe? If you are a novice baker, yes. If you are unsure about the directions, maybe the recipe isn’t the one for you – especially if you don’t want to MacGyver it.

I don’t always follow a recipe verbatim. If I don’t have an ingredient, I substitute – Google is your friend. One of my pet peeves and I have a ton, is when people don’t use their common sense. Recently, someone asked about what they could do since they didn’t have a particular icing tip for the filling of a cookie. I suggested that they either use a smaller tip or an offset spatula because it wasn’t one of those cookies that the filling was decorative to the outward appearance to the cookie and these were not going in the display case of a patisserie.

If you look at further comments on that article there are enough to make a sensitive person such as myself reach for a bottle of vodka. “I don’t like maple.” “I don’t have whole wheat flour.” And those two examples are some of the nicer comments. For the love of Julia Child, find another recipe or google substitutes if you don’t have crème fraîche. There are times when you don’t have to share with the class.

Maybe I’m just COVID hungover or maybe I’m just a pain, but can’t we all just get along? Especially in this trying time. There are a million recipes for scones why pick one particular recipe apart and make someone feel like they are forgetting a whole class of people. Bakers have baked for centuries without a stand mixer or food processor, and maybe alternative instructions could be offered. But may I suggest turning away from something that we don’t like especially when it is something as innocuous as a scone recipe. Let’s save our energy for the bigger battles – the battles that bring something greater to humanity.

Post a comment

25 Comments

  • Rinshin  on  July 10, 2020

    You are certainly not alone. Not sure how some of these people became this bitter. When we were starting out, we all had very little. Forks, knives, spoons and for me chopsticks. I used those to whip egg whites etc. Next came a hand cranked beater. I used that for some time before purchasing a small electric beater. I did not have a stand mixer until my forties. So I guess I am an elitist with a stand mixer. I cannot read the comments because I don’t want to pay for NY Times subscription, so maybe I am just a mini elitist.

  • OKCyndi  on  July 10, 2020

    Amen, sister. When will the finger-pointing end? Believe what is noble about your fellow man, and it’s amazing how that shifts the dialogue.

  • ToPieFor  on  July 10, 2020

    Amen! Totally agree! Everyone (well some people) are so nitpicky. Choose your battles, choose a recipe that’s more to your liking, and think before you type. Above all be kind.

  • jluvs2bake  on  July 10, 2020

    Good. grief. You know you’re blessed and fortunate when that’s what you’re griping about. (S)he might need to look at people who have more to worry about than stand mixers. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, a Chinese proverb: When there is food on the table, there are many problems. When there is no food on the table, there is one problem.

  • ejsimpson  on  July 10, 2020

    Spot on!!!

  • jluvs2bake  on  July 10, 2020

    And as long as people are getting that ridiculous — and that’s pretty freaking ridiculous — it’s kind of elitist to even be having cookbooks and recipes for scones, isn’t it? I guess cooks and publishers need to stop making $40+ cookbooks, and we all should start eating gruel and taking our grocery savings to send to the people who don’t have stand mixers.

  • matag  on  July 10, 2020

    Yep!

  • eliza  on  July 10, 2020

    Jenny, you are so right! The word “elitist” has lost all meaning, it’s been so overused. People just drag it out whenever they don’t like something.
    One quick example: I was on Amazon looking at a recipe book about kale…the book seemed pretty good…in the comments, I kid you not, a reader commented “this book is elitist because it calls for multiple types of kale that I can’t get in my local grocery store.”
    I rest my case.

  • Marsaluna  on  July 10, 2020

    I hear ya. The ladies with petty complaints are coookie Karens.

  • inflytur  on  July 10, 2020

    Hear, hear! I’m sick to death of wading through comments of people who haven’t attempted a recipe or made it with completely different ingredients and didn’t like the results. Some people talk to hear their own voice. Unfortunately, unlike speech, the electronic word doesn’t fade away.

  • Indio32  on  July 11, 2020

    To be honest, I’m surprised your surprised.

  • riley  on  July 11, 2020

    This person needs to watch Ruby Tandoh’s season of GBBO. In bread week Paul asks her why she isn’t using the stand mixer and she tells him she doesn’t have one at home and is not going to start at this crucial moment. At another time Mary comments that Ruby has almost no equipment in her dorm room but still manages to make fabulous bakes.

    Use some common sense and GET…A…GRIP!!!

  • meatn3  on  July 11, 2020

    Part of the “woke” generations conundrum is that they are so acutely aware of social issues. They are overwhelmed by their perceived burden to the point of paralysis. They lack the effort to do the deep research & critical thinking to truly understand issues. So the only way for them to deal with it is to make these little meaningless revelations. Unfortunately a ridiculous empty proclamation does absolutely nothing to address anything of substance.

  • AmiableGrace  on  July 11, 2020

    Agreed! Cookbooks are meant to be marketed at different levels of proficiency and interest. Dorie and Joanne are writing to people who already have the love of cooking and baking in these books.

  • LeilaD  on  July 11, 2020

    Thank you. The anonymity of the internet makes jerks think that they HAVE to say whatever is passing in their minds at the moment, whether it’s even relevant to the current conversation. When I’m looking for the week’s new recipes to try, I just go “nope” in my head and move on to the next one if I don’t have the equipment to finish it. I certainly don’t feel obligated to sit down and write a nasty letter to the publisher of the cookbook.

  • averythingcooks  on  July 11, 2020

    Well….the comments from members certainly cover what I’ve been thinking since I first read this post. Stand mixer “elitist”? Wow. Kale varieties “elitist”? Bigger wow (with, I will admit, a simultaneous laugh). I guess I’ll add that I have read comments on various recipe sites such as The Food Network (both the US & Canadian sites are equally bad for this) where the comment writer feels the need to explain that they would NEVER EVER actually make that specific recipe because ……
    a) they hate the main ingredient
    b) it is not healthy (often accompanied by a detailed explanation re: why the rest of us should NEVER EVER make that recipe)
    c) they would NEVER buy such an expensive ingredient (a memorable one was a comment on a prime rib roast recipe….you can probably see where I’m going with this…….not sure they actually wrote “elitist” but it was certainly implied)
    d) they can’t possibly be expected to take the time required to actually follow the instructions provided.
    e) they believe it is their duty to use the comments section to provide their own far superior version of the recipe in question.

    I would like to gently suggest that instead choosing a, b, c, d or e (or some combination of those 5) ……simply click next and find something that they would consider making.

    It has been a very refreshing (and educational!) experience to be a member here and read what people think after they made a thoughtful choice to try a recipe and a honest attempt to recreate what the author intended even when necessary substitutions for whatever reason are required. I live/shop in a small town and often can not get all the ingredients my books call for – and I am continuing to learn to make smart substitutions. I do shop online for various specialty items…..hmmmm…..maybe that makes me “elitist”?

    Thanks to everyone for your comments – I certainly appreciate the “tone” ( I’m searching the right word here 🙂 that is always present on this site.

  • MargyB  on  July 11, 2020

    This is my second attempt to comment (computer stupidity) – that’s how strongly I feel about this. I live in NY and twice have recognized Dorie Greenspan, on a bus and on the street. And spoke to her! And she is such an unbelievable sweet and lovely person that she spoke back! And listened! And we had a little conversation! And I am sure that if the comment-er met her, she would love her. I buy the Times on Sundays largely for the recipes, and I think DG is one of the best food writers around, not because she puts up with strangers in the street but because she understands that dessert is the bit you don’t need, the margin that lets you know the world loves you. Her secret ingredient is affection. I wish someone would collect her Times pieces and publish them.

  • MargyB  on  July 11, 2020

    “unbelievably” – sorry – should have proofread

  • averythingcooks  on  July 11, 2020

    MargyB…..that is exactly how I imagined she would be – so nice to hear confirmation of that 🙂

  • Therese  on  July 11, 2020

    lol the recipe is behind the NYT paywall, so we could start there with access issues….

  • bookpoet  on  July 12, 2020

    Here here! Well said!!!

  • MarciK  on  July 12, 2020

    If you don’t have a stand mixer, grab a spoon and stir. There are times I just don’t want to use my mixer and opted to do the extra work myself. In most cases, it should be understood

  • gamulholland  on  July 15, 2020

    Years ago when he was in grad school, my then-boyfriend, now-husband visited some friends in their apartment and decided to bake them a pie at the last minute. They didn’t have a pie plate, so he used a casserole dish and did some math to adjust the recipe. They didn’t have a pastry cutter because they presumably weren’t raised by pie-baking Nebraskans, so he used two knives. He had to substitute with whatever fat and flour and filling they happened to have. Apparently it turned out delicious, and (this will make us sound old) they proclaimed him “MacGyver of the Kitchen.” Which he was delighted with, because MacGyver. 🙂 We now have four kids, 7 to 20, and the 20-year-old goes to his girlfriend’s college dorm apartment and whips up meals with whatever happens to be there. It’s a life skill— if my kids wind up posting complaints about recipes that call for a stand mixer, I’ll know I have some work to do. 🙂

  • anniette  on  July 24, 2020

    I love your line, “There are times when you don’t have to share with the class.” It should be enshrined!

    When I was a beginning cook, I once made a lemon meringue pie, using only a fork and a bowl to whip the egg whites. It worked! Nowadays, I’d pick another recipe, but back then, I didn’t know better.

  • EmmaJaneDay  on  February 18, 2022

    Someone made the most wonderful reply to all the complaints:

    “ Oh my ~ so much talk about the hand mixer and paddle attachment. If you have cooked and baked enough, you take a look at any recipe, realize it’s possible to do a great job with your own methods and innovations. Also, please stop trying to please 12 different people with their food preferences. If they’re fussy, tell them you won’t care a bit if they bring their own vegan, allergy-free, wheat-free dish minus nuts. I liked my Belgian grandmother’s advice – “Eat what the pot cooks.””

    How brilliant is that!

Seen anything interesting? Let us know & we'll share it!