Beyonce and the $900 titanium straw

It’s well-known that touring artists often have very specific requirements for food, etc. in their touring contracts. And it’s kind of fun to read them, if for nothing more than realizing what a fantasy world must be like. So when the Daily Meal published Beyonce’s touring contract requirements, we paused to look them over.

Essentially, as far as food goes, the requirements weren’t outlandish – nothing like Van Halen’s famous requirement for M&Ms with all the brown ones carefully removed. But one of Beyonce’s requirements  – for a titanium straw – did pique our curiousity. According to the report,  “the singer ‘forked out $900 for titanium straws, which will be used to drink a special alkaline water that’s served at exactly 21 degrees.’ She also requires a hand-carved ice ball to suck on after every performance to cool her throat (which makes perfect sense to us), while asking for glass platters of almonds, oatcakes, and green-only crudites. As for junk food? It’s apparently all been banned.”

So what is a titanium straw and why require one? According to ThinkGeek,

“We have three or more reasons why you need a Titanium Straw. First, titanium is tasteless and odorless, which means it won’t affect your beverage’s taste. Also, it has very low thermal conductivity, which means your Titanium Straw will resist getting too cold or too hot (depending on your beverage of choice). Titanium is also super strong and light weight, which means you can stab it right into the fruit (or person, if you’re a vampire) you wish to drink. We tried it with oranges and grapefruits and it worked well, however we don’t recommend trying watermelons or rocks. Finally, you need a Titanium Straw because it is awesome. And you are awesome, too – the perfect match!”

One peculiarity, however, is that, although it’s out of stock, ThinkGeek is selling their titanium straws for under $20. So what makes for a $900 titanium straw? Maybe because it must have been hand made – in fact, we couldn’t find one for sale and in stock anywhere online. So if you strive to be as “awesome” as Beyonce, and have a little excess titanium lying around, here’s a way to do it.