Weird advice from vintage entertaining guides

January 9, 2024 by
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When I was a young cook putting together my first small dinner party for friends, I wasn’t sure where to begin. The internet was not sufficiently advanced to offer a lot of advice, so I turned to books about entertaining. Although the names of the tomes have been lost in the dusty corners of my mind, I’m reasonably certain that at least one was written by Martha Stewart. The guides that I consulted contained solid advice on how to serve various courses, decorating ideas, and other tips on pulling everything together. I am lucky that I didn’t use one of the vintage entertaining guides that Eater’s Amy McCarthy recently explored, because the advice presented in those pages could be downright strange.

empty wineglasses on a tray

The advice that really threw me for a loop was about how to manage your guests. It comes from Emily Post’s etiquette guide, and cautions you not to invite too many talkative guests, because “brilliant men and women who love to talk want hearers, not rivals.” McCarthy paraphrases the rest of the advice. “As such, you should seat your “very silent” friends between those who never shut up. She also suggests that you avoid seating two “brilliant people” together. “If both are voluble or nervous or ‘temperamental,’ you may create a situation like putting two operatic sopranos in the same part and expecting them to sing together.”” Sounds like I should have given everyone the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test and made a seating chart accordingly – no ENTPs next to each other!

The British food writer Michael Smith said in his 1987 Handbook for Hosts that you should never serve chips/crisps. “It would be unthinkable to serve either crisps or nuts or Twiglets,” he says. Other odd advice includes making sure the lighting doesn’t throw your guests into a “disagreeable or unbecoming shadow,” and that elaborate napkin-folding is key. You will need to stock up on spray starch if you want to make any of the designs found in the 1888 book How to Fold Napkins.

Category: Antipasto

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7 Comments

  • sanfrannative  on  January 10, 2024

    Serving chips is “unthinkable” ???

    My grandma on my dad’s side was the best hostess EVER and while I don’t think we had chips at Christmas or Easter, she proudly served them at any other fancy pants gathering she was having…so when I pour that bag into the bowl I’m not too worried.

  • TootsnFrankie  on  January 10, 2024

    San Fran, I agree! We noticed in Europe when you go to a chic bar for a cocktail you get a lovely bowl of “crisps”. So now we have no issue with putting out a chic little silver bowl with “crisps”. ? aka just a bowl with potato chips! Your gma sounds wonderful.

  • averythingcooks  on  January 10, 2024

    The quotation re chips/crisps attributed here to very down home, personable PEI chef/personality Michael Smith seemed so out of character that I checked the book. The Michael Smith quoted here is from the UK (and likely significantly older than the Canadian who just turned 57 this past October 🙂 and all associated titles are about English cookery.

    • Jane  on  January 10, 2024

      Thanks averythingcooks – now corrected. We have six different chefs/food writers called Michael Smith in our database so you can see why Darcie was confused! The British food writer Michael Smith died in the early 1990s I believe (I couldn’t find much biographical info on him online).

  • averythingcooks  on  January 10, 2024

    No worries Jane! The other thing that struck me is that I have NO IDEA what a “twiglet” was….so I looked it up and now I do 🙂

    • Jane  on  January 10, 2024

      Twiglets are a British delight though since they have a Marmite-like flavour there are people who strangely don’t like them. By coincidence I just finished my Christmas tub today – I can’t buy another tub until next Christmas since they are just too more-ish.

  • gboden  on  January 19, 2024

    Pretty sure I have that book, How to Fold Napkins. Although I’m also certain that I’ve never opened it, but it follows me through every move 30+ years later.

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