Finding a culinary ride-or-die

My spouse and I have been together for nearly three decades. When we first got together, neither of us could cook well. I was just starting to become interested in making meals from scratch after growing up on a diet of mainly boxed and canned foods, and my spouse mainly went along for the ride. Since then I have been the primary cook and while he enjoyed the meals I made, he was not “into” food in the same way I was. Over the years I tried to get him more interested in cooking, giving him cookbooks to peruse so he could bookmark recipes he might like, sharing recipes from websites, and inviting him to help me cook. It was all for naught until TikTok came along.

Suddenly he was the one sharing recipes with me. Through the murky magic of algorithms, his feed starting sending him cooking videos. The more he watched the more interested he became, and now I get two or three reels a day forwarded to me. It turns out my husband is very much a visual learner, and while helping me cook was apparently not compelling (I am trying not to take that personally), watching others make food was. Whatever the impetus, I am tickled to have him on board in the kitchen. I have plenty of online friends with whom I share my cooking and bake obsessions – and we even met IRL from time to time – but it is lovely to have someone with whom I can talk about food at any given moment. He has become my culinary ride-or-die.

This does not mean that we are in lockstep with our food tastes or cooking techniques, however. Despite years of trying, I simply cannot convince him to slice an onion from pole to pole to begin dicing it – he insists on cutting it around its equator first. And I find it charming when he excitedly shows me a reel and says “Did you know that…” Usually I do know, but it’s cute to see such enthusiasm because it often leads to a fun conversation. As he has become more aware about food, he has also gained more respect for my cooking. Before, I do not think he fully appreciated the amount of care and effort I put into making our meals. Now that he knows, he says I make it look easy. I will take that compliment to counteract being miffed at not being entertaining enough.

My takeaway from all of this is that if you want to encourage someone to join you in your love of cooking, understand that you may need to present the information in multiple ways because people may not ‘get it’ if you use a medium that doesn’t click with them. You might be able to bring them on board with certain tools (my husband has also developed a fascination with vintage appliances), special ingredients, or another facet of the cooking process. I don’t think my spouse will ever share my love of cookbooks because reading about food isn’t his jam, but I am content to have him on board as my cooking ride-or-die.