Predicting the future through asparagus

There are many ways to have your fortune read, the most popular methods being crystal balls, Tarot cards, and tea leaves. According to one woman in the UK, we can add another method to the list: asparagus spears. Jemima Packington, aka The Mystic Veg, who resides in the city of Bath, says she can predict the future by reading asparagus.

Packington claims that her ability was spotted at a young age. “Apparently, I grabbed a handful of very buttery asparagus and it fell from my hand onto the flagstone floor, and I made a very precocious remark. My parents couldn’t remember what it was, but the whole place went very quiet,” she told the BBC’s Kate Jones. Packington says that she has successfully predicted many important events such as Brexit and Boris Johnson’s tenure as prime minister. 

Even if you are skeptical of anyone’s ability to predict the future, you must admit that using asparagus spears is a novel method to use. Beyond doing individual readings, Packington does more general predictions. For 2023, some of these include “a removal of royal titles and the exposure of high-profile political figures (though not MPs) as corrupt.” One great thing about using asparagus spears to form predictions is that you can transform them into a delicious lunch afterwards.