Chef pokes fun at restaurant buzzwords

Buzzwords and phrases appear on restaurant menus and seem to spread faster than you can say farm-to-table. Chef Frank Bonanno poked a little fun at hipster-inspired marketing slogans and certain restaurant trends when he announced his latest Denver restaurant venture. In a Portlandia-like spoof, he rambled on with overwrought descriptions and even invented a word. Here’s a short excerpt repeated by Eater:

I’m relying on the skills of a fromagier – a title my team and I conceived, who is currently living in a tunnel beneath the Sixteenth Street Mall, acclimating her cheeses to the unique molds of the Colorado subterranean environment. She’s sourcing the milk from a small herd of cattle I imported from Provence-Alpes-Côte d’Azur, currently living in my back yard on a diet of plum tree remnants and snow dusted dandelions.

Other chuckle-worthy gems from the announcement include ” Even the escargot will be raised on sorrel mold alone,” and “Instead of subway tile, I’ve sourced genuine subway manhole covers to line the kitchen from floor to ceiling.”  In a footnote to the announcement, Bonanno comes clean and gives the true aims of his new bistro, noting that he plans to “serve the tastiest food I can cook, with the finest people I can hire.”