The NY Times gives Guy Fieri’s restaurant the cattiest review ever

We’ll confess that every now and then cattiness makes for a fun read. Dorothy Parker made a whole career out of it – as in once reviewing a Katherine Hepburn performance as “running the gamut from A to B.” And there was always Alice Roosevelt’s pillow (“If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here by me”). In the same vein is the New York Time’s review of Guy Fieri’s New York restaurant, Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar.

The review is written as a letter to Fieri asking if he’s eaten at his new restaurant. It’s full of bewildered pleas along the style of : “Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex? When you saw the burger described as “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche,” did your mind touch the void for a minute? or “Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?”

If, like us, you’re feeling a little low brow this morning, we’ll let you read the rest of it here – and we promise to take the high road from now on.